What I Learned in April and May

Photo: Deer passing through water in Baltimore's Mt. Washington neighborhood

1) It's important to save for a rainy day. One day out of the blue the hubs learned the company he worked for was going out of business. One of the firms executives had been mismanaging company funds and poof just like that 100 people were out of a job. People with new babies, pregnant wives, new mortgages, and other financial commitments were left to fend for themselves, us included. It was a sad event as of course no one wants to lose their job, or watch their colleagues/friends go into a financial crisis. We were fortunate in that we have been vigilant in maintaining a healthy rainy day fund. Not everyone makes enough money to cover reasonable living expenses and save a significant portion of their income. Getting laid off provided an important reminder about the importance of saving when you have the ability to do so.

2) Our household wastes a lot of food. With the hubs getting laid off we are careful about every penny we spend, which means finding areas where we are currently wasting money. The biggest area for us thus far is overspending on food. This is largely due to food waste. Americans on average WASTE AROUND A THIRD of their food supply, and we are no different. I had no idea how much food we were throwing away every week. Once I started paying attention it was truly astounding, and we will be working hard to reduce our waste dramatically.

3) How to get rid of mold. We had a mishap with our shower that resulted in some flooding in our bathroom, which lead to a small problem with mold. Luckily a quick Google search was able to turn up was to get up the mold naturally and cheap. You can learn how using baking soda or vinegar HERE.

What did you learn this month? You can learn more about what others learned at CHATTING AT THE SKY.

"The beautiful thing about learning is no one can take it away from you." ~B.B. King

What I Learned in January

1) Dedicated alone time should be a priority. As a busy mom with a toddler clinging to my legs most of the day, it's hard to get alone time. For the past several weeks I had not made alone time a priority, allowing myself to be submerged in day-to-day responsibilities with no time for myself. After a while this really took it's toll and I became exhausted. It taught me a valuable lesson, which is that alone time is not option. It's something that helps me to be a better mom, a better wife, and a better all around me. Now I am guarding my few minutes of peace a day with fierce intensity. I now take time to meditate, to do yoga, to write, to learn, and to pause and be thankful. This has been paying off immeasurably.

2) The importance of boundaries. In relation to item #1, I learned that it is important to set boundaries.  So often I put myself last. I am so busy responding to emails, text messages, telephone calls, and everything else that I don't make time for myself. I over commit or offer to do things for others that I don't want to do in order to be "nice", and in the end I end up short changing myself. This year I am really going to focus on taking care of myself, and learning to say no.

3) It's good to get to know people who are significantly different from you. The other night I had an opportunity to have dinner with some folks I had never met before who were from Texas and Tennessee. They were from settings much different than Baltimore and it was interesting and enlightening to chat and learn about the cultures of their respective hometowns. They also got to learn a bit about Baltimore and our wonderful food scene. Through walking around town they also got to see the city's serious homelessness and disinvestment problem. They both indicated they had never seen homelessness on Baltimore's scale where they live and were shocked by it. It made me realize how I tend to focus on the positive attributes of Baltimore on my blog and fail to show the total picture of the city's reality, which is not all tasty crab cakes and cookies. I will do a better job of representing all of Baltimore on my blog in 2016.

Learn what others have learned at CHATTING AT THE SKY.

"Take time to come home to yourself every day." ~Robin Casarean

What I've Learned About Marriage

             Photo: JERMIL SADLER

The other day the hubs and I celebrated our fourth wedding anniversary. It got me thinking a lot about marriage....what mistakes I've made.....and what lessons I've learned. I thought I'd share a few lessons with you below. Feel free to chime in if you any marital wisdom of your own in the comments section.

1.) Kids make marriage sweeter. Words cannot express the satisfaction that comes from producing a baby with the person you love. To see a little person who looks just like my spouse crawling around the house, spontaneously takes my breath away. It allows me to see my husband in an entirely new vulnerable light and is a very joyous thing. I try to be present and grateful in our day-to-day life, and always remember the privilege I've been given.

2.) It's important to pay attention, and act accordingly. Though having a baby is absolutely awesome, it's also extremely exhausting.  There are moments where I feel at my wits end, and my husband swoops in like superman and offers to take the baby off my hands for a little while. That's called, paying attention. Paying attention is very valuable. It makes the other person feel seen and cared for. I try to pay attention as much as I can.

3.) It's important to fight fair. Over the course of a marriage you're bound to find yourself in the midst of an occasional heated argument. How you handle these moments can determine the difference between whether a dispute strengthens or weakens your marriage. It's easy to get upset in the moment and raise your voice or use unkind words, but such treatment can lead to resentment and exacerbation of the issue at hand. I've learned it's important to stay calm, kind, and open to a differing perspective when there is a disagreement. Since learning how to "fight fair" I've been amazed at how much more quickly our disputes are settled, and how we both seem to feel much better after an issue has been resolved.

To learn what others have learned visit CHATTING AT THE SKY.

"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. It isn't something you get. It's something you do. It's the way you love your partner every day." ~Barbara de Angelis

What I learned in May

1) Life is precious. Recently the hubs received the unsettling news that his 32 year old cousin was murdered in broad daylight. She was the innocent victim of a shooting. She was killed by strangers, while in the process of fulfilling her life's dream of owning a clothing store. She had saved meticulously to pursue her dream, and was set to open her store just  two weeks after her life was taken. Her passing came as a shock to her loved ones who knew her as a good role model and upbeat person.

I do not know why tragedies like this occur, or have all the answers on how to stop them. What I do know is that we should all be thankful for our family and friends, and spend time with them when we can. It's easy to not make enough time for loved ones, but you never know when someone you love could be gone forever.

"If we remembered everyday that we could lose someone at any moment, we would love them, more fiercely and freely, and without fear- not because there is nothing to lose, but because everything can always be lost."  ~Emily Rapp

What I learned In January

Hi folks. I know it's been forever and a day since I last posted, but I haven't forgotten about you.... I promise. Today I wanted to share with you what I learned in January (or thereabouts).

1) How to get out baby poop stains. It's inevitable every new parent has been there....the moment you meet your match...the stinky icky green baby poop stain. Word on the street is big ones can't be gotten rid of, but I have found the secret. A soak overnight in the sink with a scoop of Oxiclean does the job. Before soaking rub some of the oxi and water over the stain. This also works on that gross breast milk smell that gets into baby stuff.

2) How to keep linens fresh. After washing my linens I keep them in a clean laundry bag and throw in a few bars of  smell good soap. I like to use lavender scented soap by Yardley, because it smells great and is super cheap.

3) My husband is romantic in his own special way. If I had to grade the hubs in the traditional romance department, I'd have to give him at best a D. I mean, he even forgot to get down on one knee when he proposed to me (or more accurately when he stated with ring in hand, "we should get married"). His lack of movie worthy romance doesn't mean he doesn't love me though, and he always finds a way to show it in the most unsuspecting ways. Like at Christmas, when instead of giving me a gift...because he knows I already have too much stuff and don't want anymore... he gave me a good deed. He did something really nice for a stranger in my honor. I teared up a little when he told me about it.

4) Someone actually reads this little blog. Recently, I became aware someone nominated this blog for the Baltimore Sun's annual best new blog award. I am honestly very flattered. I'm glad someone finds this thing useful. Thanks, to whoever you are!

What did you learn this month? To learn from others visit CHATTING AT THE SKY.

(PHOTO: home in Baltimore's Lake Walker neighborhood)

What I Learned in November

1) Babies are messy

When someone in a house with a baby yells, "oh shit!", they might mean it literally :-(

2) How to unclog old kitchen pipes

If you live in an older home and clog your kitchen sink pipes, try pouring one cup of vinegar down the drain. Let it sit for a minute, then run hot water for one minute down the clogged drain. After that, use a plunger to pump the sink drain, preferably on the unclogged side if you have a two-sided sink.

3) Dr. Bronner's Sal Suds is the bomb!

It has to be for me to be willing to publicly use such a corny phrase. I see DR. BRONNER'S products all over blogs these days, and now I know why...because it really works! I've been using it to do dishes and am very happy with the results. You can also use it as an all-purpose cleaner. A little goes a long way, and it doesn't contain any harsh chemicals.

What did you learn in November? See what others have learned at CHATTING AT THE SKY.

What I Learned in October

1. Almond milk is a great sleep aide

Thanks to one of my favorite bloggers GAM, I decided to try some almond milk recently. I drank it warm and it was very tasty. Not only that, but I learned it's a great natural sleep aide. I slept like a baby after one cup.

2. New babies are a LOT of work

It really helps to have an active and supportive partner. I don't know what I would do without the hubs, or as I now call him these days  "Mr. Changes Poopy Diapers". Teamwork is a must!

3. Rasberry Leaf Tea and Prenatal Yoga work wonders

Both worked in tandem to prepare me for a quick and successful labor. I had my daughter in 2 hours and 14 mins. Rasberry leaf tea also helps to supply mothers with milk post-partum.

4. Sometimes it's OK to take it easy

Things have been so very hectic in my life this month. I have been attempting to do it all....keep a clean home, run errands, be there for the baby, cook, play hostess, and snap back to my old self among other things. All of this has back fired, and really shown me that sometimes you have to take it easy, and right after birth is one of those times. It's OK to delay doing dishes, sweeping, combing your hair, etc. I've learned the importance of just resting right now, when possible. And after much trepidation, I decided to hire a cleaning service the other day. I must say, it feels sooooo good to have things tidy now and have more time for the baby. I might keep them around for a few months :-)

5. Kindness abounds

Over the past month our new little family has been shown so much kindness, from family and friends who've cooked and brought us meals, to loved ones who've generously showered us with unexpected baby gifts. We were even given the gift of a handmade baby hat from a stranger. I've been truly floored by the extent to which kindness exists in our lives, we are very lucky.

What did you learn last month?