1.) Kids make marriage sweeter. Words cannot express the satisfaction that comes from producing a baby with the person you love. To see a little person who looks just like my spouse crawling around the house, spontaneously takes my breath away. It allows me to see my husband in an entirely new vulnerable light and is a very joyous thing. I try to be present and grateful in our day-to-day life, and always remember the privilege I've been given.
2.) It's important to pay attention, and act accordingly. Though having a baby is absolutely awesome, it's also extremely exhausting. There are moments where I feel at my wits end, and my husband swoops in like superman and offers to take the baby off my hands for a little while. That's called, paying attention. Paying attention is very valuable. It makes the other person feel seen and cared for. I try to pay attention as much as I can.
3.) It's important to fight fair. Over the course of a marriage you're bound to find yourself in the midst of an occasional heated argument. How you handle these moments can determine the difference between whether a dispute strengthens or weakens your marriage. It's easy to get upset in the moment and raise your voice or use unkind words, but such treatment can lead to resentment and exacerbation of the issue at hand. I've learned it's important to stay calm, kind, and open to a differing perspective when there is a disagreement. Since learning how to "fight fair" I've been amazed at how much more quickly our disputes are settled, and how we both seem to feel much better after an issue has been resolved.
To learn what others have learned visit CHATTING AT THE SKY.
Barbara de Angelis